Coming Home to Myself My Journey With La Nina Blanca

Coming Home to Myself My Journey With La Nina Blanca

For a long time, I didn’t realize I was living in survival mode. I was moving through life in a state of constant alertness, shaped by a toxic living situation and the weight of unresolved trauma. Every day felt like a battle to stay afloat. I wasn’t dreaming, creating, or resting—I was just reacting. Exhaustion was my baseline, and anything outside of mere function felt out of reach.

In that state, imbalance became normal. I would swing between extremes—overcommitting, then collapsing. People called it procrastination, but they didn’t see the deeper truth: I was burnt out. Rest felt unsafe. Guilt crept in any time I slowed down, because survival doesn’t allow for stillness. There was no softness, only strain.

The shift began when I started working with Santa Muerte in White. Her presence entered my life not as a force that demanded change, but as a whisper that reminded me I was allowed to exhale. Through prayer and devotion, I began to feel held. Her energy wasn’t loud or urgent—it was grounding, maternal, and honest. With her, I didn’t have to perform. I could unravel safely.

She showed me the patterns I had outgrown—old attachments, beliefs rooted in fear, the need to be everything for everyone. Her love didn’t coddle me, but it didn’t punish me either. She held me accountable with compassion. I started to understand that real love includes discipline—that care means showing up for yourself even when it’s hard.

This wasn’t about becoming perfect. It was about becoming whole.

As I continued walking this path, I noticed my relationship with life itself starting to shift. I no longer felt disconnected from God or the Universe. In fact, I felt closer than ever. I began receiving quiet guidance—soft downloads that came through when I made space to listen. Life started to feel less chaotic, not because everything was suddenly easy, but because I wasn’t abandoning myself anymore.

Now, I’m learning to live beyond survival. To rest without guilt. To hold structure and softness at the same time. This isn’t a story of arriving—it’s a story of returning. Returning to a self I’d forgotten, but who never stopped waiting for me to come home.

Are you feeling this way?

If any part of this resonates—if you feel stuck in cycles of burnout, guilt, or disconnection—you’re not alone. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. What matters is that you don’t keep abandoning yourself.

Here’s a simple way to begin:

Working with Santa Muerte in White (Surface-Level Guidance):

• Start small: Create a quiet, respectful space—this could be a candle, a glass of water, or a white cloth.

• Talk to her: You don’t need fancy prayers. Speak honestly from your heart. She listens.

• Light a white candle: This represents clarity, peace, and protection.

• Keep it clean: The space you create for her should be tended to with care. It’s a reflection of your intention.

• Be consistent: Devotion isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up with sincerity, even when it’s messy.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. But each time you choose stillness over chaos, rest over guilt, or truth over performance—you’re already changing.

You're allowed to begin again.