The Struggle Of Being Stuck In The Broom Closet

 The Trauma of Being a Closeted Witch: A Journey Through Hidden Magic

Being a witch in a world that doesn’t fully understand or accept alternative spiritual paths can be a profoundly isolating experience. For those who are still "in the broom closet," the fear of judgment, rejection, or even outright hostility often outweighs the freedom to openly practice their craft. This internal conflict can lead to emotional wounds, anxiety, and a deep sense of alienation. The trauma of living as a closeted witch is real, and for many, it’s a daily struggle. Here’s what that journey looks like for so many—and how you might find light in the shadows.

1. The Weight of Secrecy

Keeping any part of yourself hidden can be exhausting, but when it comes to your spiritual practice, the secrecy can feel even more oppressive. Many witches feel like they have to constantly guard their words, actions, and even belongings. A simple altar or a tarot deck might have to be hidden away like contraband. This can lead to an overwhelming sense of inauthenticity. Who are you if you can’t fully express the core of your beliefs?

For those who are spiritual, whether through ancestral roots, personal discovery, or a deep connection to the earth and energy around them, hiding this truth feels like living in a divided reality. This division can create a sense of shame, questioning whether there is something inherently wrong with what you’re practicing, or whether you're somehow deceiving those around you.

2. Fear of Rejection

Whether it's family, friends, or society at large, the fear of being rejected or ostracized for being a witch can be paralyzing. Many witches have grown up in deeply religious or conservative environments where anything related to witchcraft is seen as taboo, dangerous, or evil. Coming out as a witch might risk friendships, family bonds, or even job opportunities. It’s not uncommon to hear stories of those who were disowned or shamed for exploring paganism, Wicca, or other magical paths.

This fear of rejection often keeps witches from forming deep connections with others. There’s always the fear of, “What if they find out?” It’s this constant tightrope walk between wanting to be seen and wanting to stay safe. It creates a trauma response of hypervigilance—always watching your words, monitoring your behavior, and carefully curating your social media to avoid exposure.

3. Internal Conflict and Doubt

Living as a closeted witch can create a deep internal conflict. You may question your path constantly. Is this worth the pain of hiding? Are the fears of rejection and judgment real, or are they exaggerated by societal conditioning? The trauma of doubting yourself can run deep, especially if you’ve been conditioned to see witchcraft as “wrong” or “evil” from an early age.

This self-doubt can morph into guilt—guilt for not being able to practice openly, guilt for feeling like you’re living a lie, guilt for not standing up for yourself. Over time, this can lead to a sense of shame not only about your craft but also about your personal identity. The trauma of this guilt can linger long after you’ve reconciled your path with your own beliefs.

4. The Struggle for Authenticity

Every witch dreams of one day practicing freely and openly, casting spells under the moon without fear, and sharing their spiritual discoveries with a supportive community. But until that day comes, there’s a struggle to live authentically. The desire to be seen for who you truly are, magic and all, is powerful, but when met with a harsh reality, it can become a source of deep emotional conflict. There’s a profound trauma in not being able to live fully in your truth.

For many witches, this trauma expresses itself as depression, anxiety, or even physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or digestive issues. When your soul is not allowed to be free, your body and mind suffer.

5. Healing from the Shadows

While living in the broom closet can be traumatic, it’s also an opportunity for profound healing and growth. There’s a power in witchcraft that allows for deep inner work, even when you can’t practice it outwardly. Through shadow work, meditation, and personal rituals, you can begin to heal the trauma of hiding.

Remember, you are not alone. Countless witches, pagans, and magical practitioners have walked this path before you and are walking it with you now. Seek out safe spaces online or in person, even if they are small. Join forums, read books by other witches, or quietly celebrate your own rituals. There is strength in your magic, even if it’s practiced behind closed doors.

Conclusion: Embracing the Path of the Witch

The trauma of being a closeted witch is real, but so is your resilience. You’ve chosen a path of empowerment, of connection to nature and the divine, and that makes you strong. As you walk this path, remember to honor your truth—even if it’s hidden from the world right now. Healing will come, and in time, you may find the courage to step out of the shadows and fully embrace your witchcraft.

For now, your magic is alive, vibrant, and waiting for the day when it can be fully seen.